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UNITED FRONT: DISCIPLINE IS LOVE

 

                           UNITED FRONT: DISCIPLINE IS LOVE SERIES

                        Antonio & Christelle Baldovinos | Marriage and Family

 

 

 

Jesus said, “A house divided cannot stand.”

We as parents must always show a united front.

Before we begin, if you’re a single parent, this blog may not relate to you at this moment but there is a grace to bring healthy discipline to your children even if you are doing it alone.

Our kids regularly say things like, “can I have a cookie?” Our first question is, “Did you already ask your Mom (or Dad)?

Kids will ask for many things. Sometimes it is small and unimportant like a cookie, but sometimes it’s more.

I usually give an answer, “Did you talk to your Mom?”, or “go and talk to your Mom and tell me what she said.” We always want to show a united front. We have a rule in our home that if one has already said no, it means “NO”.

Kids are very smart, and like most kids, our kids already know who would probably say yes or who would probably say no to the particular question they are asking. For example, they know that if they are asking for a treat or a snack, I am the first one to say, “Oh yeah, of course”. Christelle would probably say, “No”.

Our marriage is more important than our children. Our kids are watching us to see if we mean what we say and if we respect each other. When they want to cross a line, they will often do it where there is dis-unity in our parenting, to access the easiest route.

If they see unity, they instinctively know it is futile and far more too difficult to rebel.

It is important as a couple to discuss your standards, methods and values ahead of time and implement them in oneness.

These are things that we decide together. We both do the disciplining when needed and our kids know, that no matter who is implementing the discipline at that moment, even though the other parent may not be present, it’s done together and in agreement.

This is a way we maintain unity and create stability for our kids.

THIS IS WHAT NOT TO DO

“I would let you do this, but your mother won’t”. What does that say to kids? Your divided at that point.

      A house…

                  divided…

                          against itself…

                                     will…NOT…stand.

Don’t take this lightly. It’s imperative that couples parent together.

Christelle is not going to pawn it on me to be the “bad cop” and she the “good cop”. When we first got married and we needed to discipline our children, she used to say, “when your dad comes home, he will deal with you.” But that was making me the “bad cop” and when I came home, I was related as, primarily, the disciplinarian. So over the years we have adjusted this and to the best of our ability, the same intensity is given by the both of us.

There is strength to the husband being the final authority but it is unfair for either parent to take the brunt of all disciplinarian action.

This also means that if a child respects one parent and disrespects the other, that parent ensures they honor and respect the other parent. I don’t let the kids disrespect Christelle and if I’m present. I don’t make Christelle defend herself, I jump in and do not allow this.

Also, we can’t say things to our children in private that creates dis-respect for the other. This gives permission for the child to be dis-respectful and ultimately creates rebellion.

Unity means, “what you did to her, you did to me”.

Division means, “You can disrespect them and I’m going to do nothing”.

I have the mandate, when you pick a fight with Christelle, you pick a fight with me. I do not allow division.

Always honor each other in front of your children. Never disrespect your spouse in front of your kids. This includes belittling of any kind.

If there are disagreements, talk about them privately and present your kids with a united front. Fight for it and they will feel secure.

When I was young, I was probably 4 or 5 years old, my mom and dad had just given their lives to Jesus.

As a result of their new fledgling faith, my dad and my mom had decided that they wouldn’t smoke cigarettes anymore. My dad was an architect and on one particular Saturday morning he took me to work with him. While at the office, he grabbed a cigarette to smoke it and he looked at me and whispered, “don’t tell your mother, this is just between us”. I knew that was wrong and I didn’t like it. So as soon as I saw my mom, I blurted out “mom, dad was smoking!”

Obviously my Dad is nothing like this today, he is a wonderful dad and an on fire believer. But the story still has a relatable and important point. Division, even seemingly small, creates disunity and is a breeding ground for sin to abound.

Just as I knew, children know and understand division. I, as a child, watched the power of God rapidly change my parents and they became a strong united front to us as children. No matter where you find yourself now, when we yield your home to God, He brings His grace to change.

We may not realize it, but when we are not united we force our children to choose a side. This is unfair to everyone.

Never Allow a Significant Difference to Develop in How You Express Love or How You Discipline your children.

Your children need both of you to be affectionate.  

Your children need both of you to discipline them.

When demonstrated, even imperfectly, your children will experience the wholeness of love. Affection and discipline are 2 sides of the same coin and both are love. As we shared in our first blog, one without the other creates severe problems.

You are both empowered to discipline and you both are supporting one another in seeing your children flourish through it.

You see, when one parent is the “fun one”, the other parent has to be “stern” in order to bring a balance.

If you’re the one who is always having fun, to keep an orderly home, the other becomes the stern parent and it becomes off balance. The same is true of the opposite. This also robs from allowing the more stern one of being able to share their full affection, when they have to pull the weight of the majority of the discipline.

Children need affection and discipline from both the father and the mother. They need both parents to affirm them verbally and be affectionate. You need both to express discipline in a healthy way.

Come together.

Most couples often have very different personalities, but do your best to present a unified, balanced front to your children.

Don’t let your kids become a casualty.

If you are interested in more, we will continue this conversation and we look forward to hearing from you. You can email us at info@antoniobaldovinos.com. Share it with your friends on social media and keep connected by signing in to our email list to ensure you get the others.

DISCIPLINE IS LOVE SERIES: STARTING THE CONVERSATION

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                 DISCIPLINE IS LOVE SERIES: STARTING THE CONVERSAION

                     Antonio & Christelle Baldovinos | Marriage and Family

 

How can you love your kids through discipline?

Through the various seasons.

Ages.

Personalities.

Genders.

How do you effectively guide their hearts and lives?

There are countless ideas, methods and opinions.

We only get one shot at parenting and most parents want to do this right.

We don’t get a manual for how to father and mother and once you think you have figured out one season, you are being challenged to grow in the next.

For us to speak on disciplining and raising your children is risky and the controversies and differing opinions can be volatile. We know that we could even get hate mail because we even bring up the subject. We simply want to help.

We are not professionals.

We are not counselors.

We do not have a degree in child phycology.


We have 5 children from ages 7-17, and we have also lost 2 children who are in Heaven. We have been married 19 years, and we have more to grow in ourselves. We are not perfect and we have much to learn.


You may not know our children or us. We have done some things wrong, made many mistakes and by the grace of God we have done some things correctly. The reality of the need for God’s guidance and grace provokes our most frequent prayer “God, cover the holes in our covering”.

We have great parents who loved and cared for us to the best of their ability, imperfectly but always reaching to guide us Biblically. We have also learned from many other parents who have done it correctly.

We want to start the dialogue of disciplining children through a series of blogs to help those that want to learn and bring strength to their homes and the wisdom of God into their parenting.

Over 100 years ago when a young mother had her first baby the older women in the family came over and brought guidance and counsel to help the young mom. Similarly the older men of the families taught the young fathers and husbands how to be men. Somewhere over the years we have gone from the Biblical passing down our inheritance through family to leaning on the so called “experts”. We must get back to the tried and proved ways of God and can no longer ignore the time honoring ideas from the Bible.

The experts of the 1920’s spoke of a harsh no affection approach to parenting. As time went on we reached the 1960’s and 70’s that introduced a permissive, no discipline approach to parenting, where defiant behavior was viewed as something that could be “reasoned with” or grown out of.  

The pendulum swung from harsh oppressive discipline with no love or affection to a permissive approach that equates discipline as unloving.

Both have detrimental effects.

Oppressive harsh discipline belittles a child and creates rejection, hostility and a ruined self-worth.

Permissiveness breeds disrespect and it creates children that are tyrants and dictators. In adolescent years permissive parenting will reap hatred toward their parents. Permissiveness has not only failed as an approach to child rearing, it has been a disaster to those who have tried it.

We must understand that love and discipline interact to influence the attitude and formation of respect and stability in a child. Disciplinary action is not an assault on parental love; it is a function of it.

Some view love and discipline as contradicting one another; love and affection versus setting limits when defiant behavior occurs. Love and discipline seem to be opposing each other, yet they are two dimensions of the same quality. One demands the other.

We must understand that appropriate discipline is not something parents “do” to a child, but it is something they do “for” the child.

The goal of this discussion is to raise children that love God and Honor His Word, have a correct view of the Father, have respect for authority, a deep sense of self-worth and value and blossom into healthy mature adults that fear the Lord.

We as parents are entrusted to teach and give our children identity, self-discipline, self-control, and a holistic view of love.

Recently we were hiking in the Rocky Mountains. The trail we were on was steep and narrow and had no fence or barrier. We all walked as close to wall of the mountain as possible to avoid the steep drop off. There was a feeling of not being safe and a sense that if we made a wrong move we would tumble to the unknown below. It is safe to say it wasn’t a relaxing hike and we felt unsure and tentative.

A few days later we went on another hike in the mountains on a different trail. This trail was just as steep, but it had a small rock barrier built as a ridge between the hiker and the edge. The rock barrier gave a sense of safety and security and allowed for us to walk on the trail freely and with ease.

Limits create a sense of safety.

In the same way, we as parents are creating limits and boundaries that will help our children thrive in years to come.

We are simply starting the conversation. You don’t have to believe us or take everything that we are saying but at least consider what we are saying and we ask you to look through the lens of the Bible and not just believe what your parents did or what you hear society is saying or some magazine telling you.

If you are interested in more, we will continue this conversation and we look forward to hearing from you. You can email us at info@antoniobaldovinos.com. Share it with your friends and keep connected by signing in to our email list to ensure you get the others.

Transgender Bathrooms

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                                         GENDER NUETRAL BATHROOMS

                                        Antonio Baldovinos | Family Matters

 

 

 

It’s finally here.

We looked at the sexual moral crisis in society as something at a far distance; in someone else’s neighborhood, someone else’s country and someone else’s issue.

Not anymore.

It’s here at our doorsteps.

When I was 15 years old I went to a Billy Graham Crusade in Minneapolis Minnesota. At the end of the event, my mother and sister went to the bathroom and I stayed outside of the girl’s bathroom waiting for them. As I stood outside, I noticed a guy going into the girl’s bathroom. It was a man posing as a woman wanting to satisfy his voyeuristic desires. I started to yell inside the bathroom! Remember, my mother and sister were in there and this pervert was in there. He came running out. I chased him down the halls and a police officer saw the chase and joined me in capturing and arresting of this man.

Even as I write these words, schools in Canada and different cities in America are considering dangerous and irrational laws that impose unfair and potentially dangerous burdens on the vast majority of citizens, all in name of helping a tiny number of deeply confused individuals.

When will we learn?

To allow this in our schools is a guarantee of trouble making in public bathrooms and locker rooms, imposing of “gender neutral” on our loved ones. It is an experiment in social madness, and it is completely without justification, no matter how much we care about men and women who struggle with gender identity issues.

Think about this: An individual’s self-identification is the sole measure of their sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression, not the gift of their gender given by God at birth.

All school-aged children – of any age from Kindergarten on up through high school – are free to determine for themselves who they are. For example, a five-year-old boy could make up his own mind that he is not a boy, but a girl. A ten-year-old girl could do the same thing, or a fourteen-year-old boy, etc. Not only that, but a child could identify as a boy one day, a girl next week, and then as neither one or ‘neutral’ today. (they’re are calling this gender fluidity) The guidelines make no mention at all of an appropriate age at which a child might make this decision.

This is only the start for greater problems. Just a couple days ago in Seattle “A man undressed in a women’s locker room, citing a new state rule that allows people to choose a bathroom based on gender identity.”

What kind of lunacy is this?

“How could any adult possibly think that it is fair to these little boys to have a confused little girl use their bathroom, or a confused little boy use the girls’ room? And how could any adult possibly think that it was fine for a confused (or opportunistic) teenage boy to share a locker room with teenage girls?”

I urge every man and woman of conscience and decency to stand against these laws while, at the same time, working to help those who are gender-confused get to the root of their struggles.

This social madness must stop!

We do have a window of opportunity here as parents to inform ourselves and then respond.

If you live in Canada and in Alberta there are some options that we can proactively do. Its not a time to sit idly by and be silent. We must NOT be silent any more!


  1. Make a face to face meeting with your MLA (as of today, they are home until March 1st) and convey your concerns.
  2. Write your own letter to Minister of Education David Eggen.
  3. Write your own letter to the local school board that has authority over your child’s school.


I believe in prayer. I urge you to pray. Pray for a turning of a nation back to God!

MORAL REVOLUTION

                                                    MORAL REVOLUTION

                                           Antonio Baldovinos | Christian Life

 

We have been in a moral ruin. Think about it…

The moral collapse has crept in unnoticed for decades. Every sphere of society has felt its affects.


Men acting like women.

Women acting like men and are proud of it.

Gender identity confused at every front.

We currently have gender neutral bathrooms being pushed on our children and soon on every sphere of society. This chaos and confusion will bring about perversion and confusion unlike we have ever seen before. Anyone who speaks against this will be called an alarmist or intolerant.


Men don’t know how to act like men…

Should they open the door for women?

Should they get up when there aren’t any seats left and a woman walks in?

Should they take care of themselves first or last? 

Should they be engaged in the home or not?

Should they lead their lives and families in purity and spiritually or not?

Imagine a newly married couple today…

Are there any specific roles the Bible speaks of? 

Sex has no boundaries.

Contraception has replaced conception.

Pleasure has been separated from responsibility.

Cohabitation is looked upon as best rather then marriage.

The marriage bed is seen as slavery instead of oneness.

Desire confused and disconnected from true, covenantal love. Parenting is seen as a curse rather than a blessing.

MORAL REVOLUTION

What we need is a moral revolution.

The choices are ever before us.

Many are calling good, bad and bad, good. Only God determines what is good. 

We can’t just put paint on a rusty car. Only the blood of Jesus and a repentant heart can change that rust to be a brilliant new heart!

Let me share with you one major foundational principles in making a moral revolution.

SEEDS OF TOLERATION

“Do not be deceived, God cannot be mocked; for whatever a man sows this he will also reap. (Galatians 6:7)

 

I don’t believe anyone started out thinking they would end up addicted to pornography, or loosing their marriage or all the things they held valuable.

Our decisions have consequences that affect our children and can create a moral crisis in our kids. Girls are looking for men because their fathers never gave them the time and affection that they needed. Boys needing to solidify their identity by being with their Fathers.

There are little things that we let in our lives that seem subtle but eventually takes more ground.

Regardless, it is a slow process that spirals into total destruction of self worth, integrity, confidence, and intimacy with our Creator.

It’s also the conversations of peoples experiences and opinions that are not based on the Bible.

Through sitcoms, TV, Movies, Video Games, music and other online sources we tolerate sowing to the flesh by the images and sounds these give and this will produce fruit.

We become desensitized to the power of immorality- we watch fornication, homosexuality, adultery, and sexual immorality of all kinds. Our defense mechanisms are getting broken down little by little to eventually taking over our lives and we will, inevitably act out what we watch, see and hear. We become what we behold.

We become fascinated by what we see and eventually we will worship what we admire.

If we think we can handle it, it’s a sure sign we are deceived.

 Its not the violent hitting us, but it’s the dulling that puts us to sleep!

This is a time to stand for moral righteousness in our personal lives, homes and in our generation. This is not a time to bend to all the cravings that society is speaking and confusing everyone. Look at the pages of the Bible to moral truth and live by it.

THE DILEMMA OF JOY


                                         THE DILEMMA OF JOY

                                      Antonio Baldovinos | Christianity


“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)

This is not a statement you would expect from a prisoner.

Yet it is the call of the Gospel message and is the entryway to Christianity (Matt. 16:24).

I have been studying the book of Philippians, written by Paul. In this book we see a perspective unlike what you or I would assume a prisoner would write.

Yet prisoner and the Apostle Paul writes this letter to Philippi as a thank you. Reading it you can sense his sincere and heartfelt affection for the Philippian church.

I hope you would read it. It won’t take you long.

It is an incredible book. The more I learn about it, the more I am challenged and encouraged in my life and ministry.

As he writes, Paul offers reminders that challenge us to Christian maturity.

However, he first lay’s the foundation of the journey of salvation.

JUSTIFICATION, SANCTIFICATION, AND GLORIFICATION

  •  We are justified through faith in Him alone, not by works. There was a price to pay and Jesus paid it by dying to take the penalty for our sin.
  • Paul says elsewhere, “we’ll be glorified.” Just like Jesus rose from death, one day we’ll be perfected and we’ll rise from death and live forever with God in His Kingdom.
  • Sanctification is renewing of the mind by the Word. It’s walking by the Spirit and not by the flesh. It is not effortless but can oftentimes be exhausting. That’s why Paul tell us in Philippians 2:14 and 15, “Work out your salvation with fear and trembling…”

Wrongly preached today is a message of justification and glorification without the process of sanctification. Yet the process of sanctification is where life happens and maturity is perfected.


TWO EVIDENCES OF CHRISTIAN MATURITY THAT WE LEARN FROM PHILIPPIANS IS: 

1.    JOY

We live in a nation and generation that is founded upon the pursuit of happiness.

“More, more, more” has become the motto of a restless and discontent generation…yet no one stops to consider the insanity inherent in the endless pursuit of more.

This culture has engulfed us. (Eph. 4:17-19)

Even religion entangles by feeding us the lie that  “Unless you do good things, God won’t love you.”

Our God gave His life and desires a relationship with us. He’s not asking for perfect behavior but a reach towards Him. He provides grace, mercy and help.

3 REASONS THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ISN’T WORKING

  •  We set ourselves up for despair, disappointment and discouragement because we fix our hope on something that can never fulfill.
  • When (if) we do get that person or that thing we realize they’re not that fun. We often have false expectations and they will fail us time and time again.
  • “We tend to be miserable. That we don’t like to think about being miserable, so we create diversions. We think about something else. We do something to take our mind off our misery.” (Blaise Pascal) The pursuit will always continue because nothing can fascinate us but Him.

THE DILEMMA

God made everything very good in Genesis 1 and 2. Then Genesis 3 happened: sin.

We tell people, “God made everything very good,” yet we neglect the sin problem. 

We’re setting people up for constant failure. When they’re hurting, or can’t pay their bills, or are victimized (and the list goes on) they ask God, “Where are you?” “I thought you were good”.

We preach a gospel that speaks of happiness more then denying yourself and taking up your cross. That’s not the true gospel message.

THE ANSWER

There are no seven steps to joy because joy is more than an emotion.

True joy is complete only in Him. True Joy is a lifestyle

2.    FELLOWSHIP (Koinonia)

This book is a mature church. This is our aim: koinonia fellowship.

This word is not just socializing around a cup of coffee.

The strength of the meaning is seen best by the way the word was used in the New Testament times. Siamese twins born in the ancient world were said to have koinonia blood, for if one died the other would die too.

In the same way, our fellowship with one another is to be of that quality—what happens to one will happen to the other.

There is a great need today for community and fellowship: to know and be known.

(Phil. 2:1-2) Therefore, if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.

THE CHALLENGE

Don’t be content searching for happiness that is void of true joy or satisfied wading in surface level relationships.

We are challenged and encouraged by Paul to possess joy in spite of circumstances and display genuine koinonia fellowship.

If Paul could demonstrate this from prison, what is our excuse?

#1 Goal in Marriage

                                  # 1 GOAL EVERY MARRIAGE SHOULD HAVE

                                              Antonio Baldovinos | Marriage and Family

 

The most important day of your marriage is not your wedding day.

People put all this energy into the first day of marriage by getting ready with invitations, dresses, venues, dinners, videos, etc. Though this is fine, it does not have any lasting impact on a marriage. We need to put far more effort on that last day than on the first day—the last day is the most important.

A marriage has to be built for a 50, 60, 70 year run, not a 50-yard sprint.

It’s safe for me to say, and you would probably agree with me, that marriage is under attack from every side.

Our culture bombards our minds with the idea that our aim in life is to make us happy. Marriage is looked upon as no more than simply dating; it is not viewed as a covenant relationship. Even the concept of one man and one woman in marriage is under attack. This isn’t news to you.

Why do I say this?

We would not dream of going through a battlefield in World War II with bullets whirling past our head and bombs and mines exploding around us, and simply stroll through hoping we not only survive, but win.

No! We would train, exercise and study the battle plan, study the enemy’s tactics, and most importantly we would be alert and ready!

When we build a good foundation in marriage we build a great foundation for our children and the generations that follow.

Marriages don’t necessarily choose to grow apart, but husbands and wives stop fighting and choosing to stay together.

It’s the second law of thermodynamics: things are naturally pulling apart; things are naturally going into ruin.

It is so easy for this to happen in a marriage through parenting, vocation, and your own avocations and hobby’s. This is not even taking into consideration our worldviews and what culture preaches.

THE LONGEVITY OF MARRIAGE IS FOUNDED UPON ONE THING

Friedrich Nietzsche once said “It’s not a lack of love but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

Without friendship in marriage, you live a lonely life.

Marriage is two imperfect people walking face to face by the grace of God. It is the greatest and only strength a marriage can have to thrive, and it takes God to have this!

You’ll find countless volumes of books on romance, intimacy, and passion in marriage, but not much on the simple act of being good friends as husband and wife. It seems friendship is secondary to romance in the minds of many. 

FRIENDSHIP IS THE ANSWER FOR LONGEVITY

I can’t emphasize enough the only thing that will be the glue in your marriage is a lasting friendship.

Many in years past used to stay married for the sake of children when they went through struggle. But what happens when the children are gone?

It’s increasingly become more common to “gray divorce.” Meaning, the 50 and older population has increased in divorce by 52 percent in the last several years.

As soon as kids leave the nest it wrecks havoc on the loneliness the couple feels because there was no friendship established within marriage. The glue that kept them together was the children, and when the children leave it seems there is no reason to stay together.

I’m not endorsing divorce for the reasons people are getting divorced today—the reasons are ridiculous and unbiblical.

Today’s mindset (and main goal of marriage) is to enhance personal happiness rather than seeing marriage through the eyes of Biblical love.

However, to strengthen long-term marriage the couple has to be committed to building a lasting, deep friendship; a marriage that is planted by streams of water, that brings forth fruit in season, whose leaf does not wither; you will prosper in all seasons of marriage (Psalm 1 paraphrased).

 

HOW TO CULTIVATE FRIENDSHIP

Cultivating a friendship will take time, labor and attention.

Most relationships go through highs and lows.

At the beginning of all relationships, especially a marriage, it begins with some kind of infatuation. But Infatuation doesn’t last longer than 2 years. When the honeymoon settles, then what?

Friendship.

If there is no friendship, there is no root system.

Friendship takes focus and attention.

It begs to ask, what makes a good friendship?

A couple should be best friends.

Best friends talk.

Best friends share thing with each other, both good and bad; there are no secrets.

Best friends look for the interest of the other.

Best friends sacrifice for the other, with no strings attached. And, sometimes they do things they don’t necessarily like.

They work out their differences.

We are talking more than just any type of relationship. We are talking about the lifelong, till death do us part; the kind of relationship made in blood, covenant blood, under heaven and before witnesses!

The number 1 aim and goal for every marriage to have lasting fruit is to build it on friendship, not on children, a mission or any other thing.

After all, the reason why God created marriage in the first place was because it was not good for man to be alone (Gen 2:18). Tons of other benefits overflow from this friendship, but the base of a lasting and strong marriage is friendship!

HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE COUNT

                                HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE COUNT

                                        Antonio Baldovinos | Christian Life

 

EVERY DAY YOU ARE WRITING YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY.

That statement may sound odd but its so true.

You and I are writing history. I’m regularly reminded of what Winston Churchill once said, “History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.”

And Mr. Churchill did. He wrote history and he’s looked upon today as a wise leader that saved Britain.

Our life’s story is written by the choices that we make in the midst of all the seasons of our life.

Another important aspect of writing our autobiography is that we oftentimes exaggerate the Past, Overestimate the Future, Underestimate today.

I can reminisce about something in the past and it becomes glorious, bigger than it really was.

We overestimate what our futures will hold but we really minimize our present day.

God is inviting us to take a hold of today. Writing our history in such a way that will impact eternity.

Ephesians 5:15-16 says “See then that you walk wisely, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.”

This verse is speaking about taking responsibility for our time. Walking wisely with the time that we have in the midst of evil days.


THE VALUE OF TIME

Proverbs 29:18 says “Where there is no vision, the people perish or live without restraint.”

Without an intentional, organized approach to time management, the gift of time can be easily squandered, leaving us with regret and a lack of fruit in our lives.

Where there is no vision, people cast off restraint. We need Clarity of where our life is headed. Undisciplined people have a vision problem, not a discipline problem.

I remember a few summers ago, we had a weed problem in our yard. I tried getting my three older sons to help me weed our yard.

We had thousands of dandelions due to being gone for several weeks.

Someone had cut our yard but the weeds were left untreated.

My sons lasted 10 minutes, then the complaining began, “it’s too hot”, “our backs hurt” and “I’m thirsty”.

So I tried something else, I offered my boys 10 cents for each weed pulled. As they looked at the the 1,000’s of weeds, suddenly they were motivated.

They had vision.  

They got to work.

Vision is a picture of a preferable future that will motivate you to perform today.

When I speak about vision, I’m not talking about when I’m old I hope I’m rich and happy. I’m talking about something much bigger than that.  

If you don’t have something to die for, you won’t have anything to live for.

Let me help us make a Life Vision and take a hold of not only 2016 but something that we can live for that affects eternity.



LIFE RESOURCES

God has given each person valuable life resources. There are four main life resources:

1.   Your Time

2.   Your Affection

3.   Your Finances

4.   Your Talents

Money is powerful and makes a great impact, but time is life.

To squander time is to squander destiny.

You loose your destiny by squandering hours.

When making a life vision we need to have a focus on all the areas of our life, to have balance.

SEVEN AREAS OF YOUR LIFE

1.   Spiritual: Prayer, Bible Study, Worship, Fasting days, etc.

2.   Relational: Family (Immediate, extended), friends, co-workers, etc.

3.   Vocational: Marketplace calling, etc.

4.   Ministerial: Your ministry gifts and calling within the Church, outside the Church, etc.

5.   Financial: Including giving, saving, investing, spending, budget (income and expenses)

6.   Physical: Exercise, health, nutrition, food plan, etc

7.   Recreational: Rest, vacation, sports, fun, etc.


To manage your time, you have to develop it like character. You get better at it by practicing and focusing in on it.

Its very, very common to never connect time with your destiny. However, an aggressive approach to fulfill your destiny is done by managing your schedule. People talk about their dreams and about their destiny but they don’t connect it with their time.

To close, I want to end by leaving you some homework. I have done this with my own family. Even my nine-year-old daughter was a part of this assignment and we did this as a family and we loved it.


I want to invite you to take time today and write some things down.

1.   Write 3 things you would like to redo from 2015.

2.   What would you want your relationships to be like? Are there any relationships that need restoration? And which ones do you want to invest in?

3.   What do you want your heart to be like with God?

4.   What do you value? Person, Place, Things, Vocation, Ministry? Group?

5.   What would your ideal life be like?

6.   What would you want said at your funeral?

Take a hold of your life and make history!

TIME FACTOR OF MENTORSHIP

                                      THE TIME FACTOR OF MENTORSHIP

                                             Antonio Baldovinos | Leadership

 

I went to give my five-year-old son a hug yesterday. When I hugged him I was so overwhelmed with the smell of cologne that I almost couldn’t be next to him.

But this cologne I recognized—it was mine. My son had put it in his hair and all over his body, and a lot of it!

And so I asked, “where did you get the cologne, and why is it in your hair?”

He responded with, “I saw you do it.” My son had watched me in the morning spray the mist in the air, and it looked as though it was directed at my hair. Thinking that I threw the cologne in my hair, he copied me and put it in his hair too.

I took the opportunity to show him how to properly put cologne on.

This is a picture, in a small way, of mentoring. We all learn through watching, and hopefully someone will tell us why they do what they do.

When I speak of mentorship, the cost is very, very high.

PROCESS OF MENTORSHIP

The way I view mentorship is shadowing or following someone while learning and asking questions of them.

Mentorship has a process:

1.  Information—someone tells what and why something is done.

2.  Imitation—this information is imitated, and again with some tweaks and time.

3.  Innovation—Finally with the guidelines already established, the person innovates and creates from their own personality and experience. But they multiply from strength.

 Mentoring is to show and to tell why something is done. Shadowing can be mentoring for a job skill, learning to cook, becoming a parent, and so on.

 BIG COMMITMENT

Regardless of the job or the task, mentoring is a costly thing, just on the time commitment alone. We have to view mentoring with this view in hand, both when mentoring and being mentored.

To properly mentor is to invest time, energy, and even reenact steps for others to learn from.

If we view mentorship like this then we will see that there are not too many people that we can actually mentor.

This also means that others will need to rise up and mentor as well. I place a high value upon everyone mentoring and everyone being mentored, but with this perspective.

A counseling, advice driven relationship is not mentorship; it is seeking advice. Asking for advice is valuable and needed, but that’s not how I would define true mentorship.

EVERYONE SHOULD GIVE AND RECEIVE

The reason I believe that everyone should mentor and everyone should be mentored is for two reasons:

1.  Without understanding how to learn and receive, you cannot properly lead.

2.  One of the greatest ways to learn is to give, and this also removes the mindset that “it’s all about me” (which, in my opinion, is a negative epidemic). We learn best when we give and multiply.

We should be rivers, not ponds. This is also true in the mentorship relationship.

That means it will take great time and costly energy, and therefore we can only really mentor a few. Jesus had 12 close companions, His disciples, but He invested a greater amount of time and energy on only 3 disciples—the three we see on the Mount of Transfiguration. He took extra time to teach, to pray, and to answer questions. This is the truest picture of discipleship: investing in a few.

The time factor in mentorship is that you can really only invest in a few. I do not want to say how many a few really is, but I will lead you to the example of Jesus.

Let’s look for a few to invest in, giving them our best time and energy. That also means that we have to be very selective with our time because it’s a great commitment, and ensure that these are ones who are willing to be mentored in this way.

We need to really evaluate who to invest into, and who to ask to mentor us.

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